A Lesson in Relationships

A Lesson in Relationships

One of my favorite Miracle Messages from Gabby Bernstein is from her book Miracles Now (grab a copy on Amazon here).  The Message is based on a lesson from a metphysical text called A Course in Miracles.  She says, “Relationships are assignments for optimal growth and healing.”

Let me say that again.

“Relationships are assignments for optimal growth and healing.”

This particular Miracle Message really shook me, and helped me to shift my perception on all relationships – romantic, friendly, professional.

I began to see my failed romantic relationships differently.  The old friendships that had grown apart and faded, I began to see them differently.  I even began to see the co-worker that pushes all my buttons differently.

What I’ve come to realize is that none of these relationships happen by mistake.  Each person in your life is sent to you for a reason. Relationships are an opportunity for growth, a chance to heal old wounds, and a way to strengthen your spiritual beliefs. They are also a reminder of the (often forgotten) presence of love within us.

Romantic Relationships

Relationships end when you have received all of the opportunities for growth and healing that the relationship had to give.  Unfortunately though, when a relationship ends, we often perceive it as a failure, or look to place blame.  We blame ourselves and feed into the stories we’ve created to keep ourselves small.  Or we blame the other person in an attempt to protect or even ignore our feelings.

Instead, the key is to allow yourself to feel the feeling. Allow it to move through you. Trying to stifle the feeling, push it down, and ignore it will only allow it to linger under the surface, creating resentments and blocks.

Make it a priority to do some emotional release work.  Do some experimenting and see what works best for you.  Maybe it’s journaling and doing an emotional dump of everything that you’re feeling.  Maybe you feel an emotional release when you move your body, like doing yoga or going for a run.  Or maybe just create a safe space for yourself to cry it out.  Be gentle with yourself.

The video 6 Ways to Scream teaches an 6 unconventional but powerful ways of emotional release.

Once you have allowed all of those feelings to move through you, you no longer hold space for resentments. You can begin to look at the situation with love. Be grateful for the relationship and all of the lessons learned from it.  At the very least, you will always have a better idea of what qualities that you may or may not want in a future relationship. Instead of staying stuck on the what ifs, look forward to what the Universe has in store for you.

Instead of staying stuck on the what ifs, look forward to what the Universe has in store for you. Click To Tweet


I’ve always thought it was so strange the way that seemingly important people in our lives come and go.  Even more interesting, friendships that have lasted most of our lives can fade away just as quickly as we can form even stronger friendships with complete strangers.

I think sometimes we hold on to friendships that may no longer be serving us out of guilt or fear.  Maybe we’ve been friends for someone so long that its become more of a relationship of convenience.  We’re afraid what people, especially our friends, might think if we choose the walk a different path.  We’re afraid of being alone. We feel guilty or selfish for pulling away or creating boundaries, so we continue to put ourselves in situations that may make us feel uncomfortable.

When we listen to our inner guidance, we no longer force relationships of any kind. You will find that as you continue to evolve, sometimes you “outgrow” certain relationships.  You may begin to feel some distance in even your closest friendships.  This is a natural part of becoming our true selves.  We are led to people as we need them and guided away from them as they no longer serve us.

When we ignore our inner guidance and instead try to maintain friendships or even relationships that we know are no longer right for us, we can become emotionally exhausted.  Instead, allow yourself to begin to let go of these friendships.  You will create space for new ones to form.

Professional Relationships

I really struggle with this one sometimes.  We will ultimately spend most of our time at work, so it’s only natural that we want this time to be spent with people that we get along with, or at the very least, people we can tolerate.

But it never fails, there’s always that one person (or maybe even a few people) that seem to suck all of our positive energy out of us and make the work environment miserable.

A great resource that I often return to when I’m having a difficult time dealing with those coworkers that push my buttons is Gabby Bernstein’s Co-Worker Karma video.  She gives you a 3-Step approach to cleaning up the workplace negativity.

It’s also very possible that the things that things that bother us most about a co-worker are really just a reflection of the disowned parts of ourselves that we try to hide.  Take some time to think about the real reason this person bothers you so much.  What about them could be a reflection of your own shadow? Allow this person to help you grow and provide you the opportunity to confront those disowned parts of you. Once you get honest with yourself, you’ll begin to heal those shadow parts and you’ll see that your co-worker may not have been the true problem in the first place.

Trust in a Plan Far Greater Than Your Own

Ultimately, when we release the need to control the relationships in our lives, we allow them to provide us with their intended opportunities for growth and healing. We allow new relationships to form when we need them.  Be grateful for the lessons learned through even the most difficult relationships and trust that the Universe will continue to guide you to exactly the people you need, at exactly the right time.


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